January 25, 2004

• RESUME
  George W. Bush
  The White House, USA
  
  EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
  
  LAW ENFORCEMENT:
  *I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
  influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s
  license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost”
  and is not available.
  
  MILITARY:
  *I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
  a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
  Texas Air National Guard; I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
  
  COLLEGE:
  *I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
  
  PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
  *I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil
  business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
  couldn’t find any oil in Texas. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team
  in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
  *With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
  industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
  
  
  ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
  *I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
  making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
  *During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
  city in America.
  *I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
  in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
  governor in American history.
  *With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s
  appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
  over 500,000 votes.
  
  ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
  *I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
  criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
  cost of over one billion dollars per week.
  *I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
  
  *I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
  
  *I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
  12-month period.
  *I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
  
  *I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
  U.S. stock market.
  *In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs
  and that trend continues every month.
  *I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
  administration in U.S. history. My “poorest millionaire,” Condoleezza
  Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
  *I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
  President.
  *I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
  corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor,
  and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest
  corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party
  used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success
  with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have
  protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or
  prosecution More time and money was spent investigating the Monica
  Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
  corporate rip-offs in history.
  *I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
  to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
  presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
  *I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
  government contracts.
  *I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
  President in U.S. history.
  *I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
  in the history of the United States government.
  *I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
  history. 
  *I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
  remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
  *I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
  *I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. “prisoners of war”
  detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
  *I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
  inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
  *I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any
  President since the advent of television.
  *I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
  period.
  After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
  security failure in U.S. history.
  *I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
  attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country
  in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
  *I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
  simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
  shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of
  mankind.
  *I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
  pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
  did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
  citizens, and the world community.
  *I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
  duty benefits for active duty troops and their families — in war time.
  
  *In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
  attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
  *I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
  (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
  security.
  *I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,” a
  WMD.
  
  
  RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
  *All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s
  library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
  *All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
  bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
  view.
  *All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
  attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
  unavailable for public review.
  
  PLEASE CONSIDER ME WHEN VOTING IN 2004
  
  PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW
  
  

  • 2:48 pm
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