March 6, 2003
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There’s a train heading west from Kansas City every night. Next Tuesday I’ll be on it. I’m going back there for awhile, see the desert mountains I was raised in. Copper country, the third largest open pit mine in the country. All the people at the bottom look like ants, and even the largest piece of equipment looks like a child’s Tonka toy. Flagstaff and that area is another place I’ll be visiting again. There’s some beautiful country up there and I’m really looking forward to that.
On the way back there will be a stop in Telluride Colorado, maybe ski a little, do some shopping. See some friends and family, it’s been to long to remember that kind of fun. When you can’t remember fun then it’s time to seek it out. (can I take your camera Allie?) I just hope I don’t fall down the mountain again, damn that hurts. At least I didn’t break a leg.
I’ll be gone on my xangaversary. It’s hard to believe I’ve been here a year. It really doesn’t seem that long. I started this as a quick way to communicate with my daughter who’s away at school. A way of letting her and her friends know what we are doing and find out what she’s doing. (not in a nasty spy way.) Somewhere, somehow, it became something different, an outlet really, for all the jumbled things floating around in my brain. I’ve made some friends here that I wouldn’t have known under ordinary circumstances. Then again there’s nothing ordinary about xanga or the people on it. I don’t agree with everyone all the time, but then in real life, do we always agree? I seriously doubt it. I’ve read some fascinating tales that people are living, or have lived. I’ve seen amazing original artwork. (so good you wonder why they aren’t in a gallery) Read poetry that should be published (Dani, among others.) And I’m generally always made to feel welcome wherever I happened to wander by. That is what xanga is and we’re lucky to be a part of it, all glitches aside. Makes me want to go by and give John and the boys a kiss. lol!
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The descent of my mind!
Are you Happy? Really happy? Someone tell me what that is, happiness. Where do you find it, and when it leaves does it slip away so quietly you don’t notice. Did it go with a roar so deafening that you went numb? Then you knew, I’m not happy! Is it even important to be happy? Someone tell me!
I dreaming of a better world for myself,
a place where I can be free.
Where love and anger live side by side,
utopia in my head.
Yes, I am in a MOOD.
Comments (8)
thanks so much for the comments! that was so sweet of you to say! i realized after i wrote my post, that i only wrote about the serious part of my relationship with caesar but we did have our fun. he could always make me laugh.
happiness…i don’t really know. i think the first step starts within yourself. i can’t really explain it. but you have to be happy with who you are just the way you are-flawed but beautiful. happiness is different with every person…
Elly
flagstaff-sedona… truly God’s country out there. Can you work in the area around Hoover Dam? Verrrry pretty there too.
And HAPPY XANGAVERSARY INDY!
Happiness is only a state of mind sometimes when we feel happiness, is it really true, or is it just the quirk for that day. Enjoy your trip. About my pictures others seem to see them, perhaps it is your computer, as I have not had anyone else say they can’t see them .Think Happy, good luck Cheers Portia
;-}
this is neato… but your text is crammed together… its buggin me! GAH!
I hope you have a fantastic time. You make it sound so beautiful! It is fascinating how small the world can seem when you’re up high, and also, high on life. Vacations are much needed. Congrats on your xangiversary as well.
What about my graduation??
Have an excellent time, keep up on this high
your writing’s all bouncy!