April 2, 2008

• w00t!

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  ·        Today is the day people!!!  The day that is celebrated worldwide, okay maybe not worldwide, maybe just in our house.   It is celebrated though and with good reason. What is this day of celebration you may ask? It is our anniversary. That’s right 26 years ago today we snuck off to the judge’s office and had him pronounce us legally wed.  Last night we were talking about this day and what we remember. The things that sticks in your mind and after awhile start to define that day.  For us there were a couple of things. The first is that we didn’t actually get married on the day we chose to.  We were going to get married on April Fools.  At the time, in Phoenix, you had to have a blood test before you could get married.   We lived on the west side of town on 69th Ave. and Bethany Home Road. The place to get your blood drawn was downtown. Way downtown!  Back then Phoenix didn’t really have freeways so you had to use surface streets to get anywhere so it took us close to an hour just to get there.  We went in and filled out the paperwork and that’s when they told us that they didn’t take checks.  Now remember this was before debit machines on every corner and we didn’t have a credit card. So we were left with one choice, find a bank and get a check cashed. You would think that would have been pretty easy but it wasn’t so we gave up and went home.  2 hours driving to get there and back and no license. I will never forget how mad Bear was, he’s always let things get to him and for 26 years I’ve been telling him not to have a stroke. (This is him…  This is me…  Together we get on pretty good.) 

  So the next day, April 2nd we took out $100.00 cash from the bank and went back down and paid $40.00 to have our blood drawn and they pointed us to Judge John Barclay’s office which was right down the road. We waited a bit and then he took us into his office and married us. Just the three of us, me and Bear in our jeans and t-shirts and the judge in his thousand dollar suit in his private office.  I asked him if we didn’t need witnesses and he said he would have a couple of the ladies downstairs in the office sign off as witnesses on our certificate. (I worried for the longest time about not have any real witnesses)  He was very nice and asked if we had rings which we didn’t, asked me if I was sure, which I was. Then he asked Bear too and he was just as sure, we were pretty determined by this point.  Then Judge Barclay started talking. He told us marriage was sacred that it was a circle of loving, of give and take. He told us that sometimes we would be unhappy and sometimes we would have sorrow but if we stood together we would not be torn apart by the world or the things in it.  He told us to have God in our hearts and our marriage and that our love would grow.  Somewhere in the middle of all that I started breathing again.  I was so nervous that I had locked my knees and quit breathing so i let out this huge gasp.  It was probably the nervous look on my face that had prompted his question of whether I was sure I was ready to get married.  I’m sure now that he took one look at my Belly and saw Allison in there and thought I was getting married because of that baby.  He couldn’t have been more wrong. Married or not I knew then as I know now I would never stop loving this man and something truly terrible would have to change him to make me not love him.  I am so grateful I didn’t cause myself to pass out; I would have been so embarrassed.  Bear just sort of looked at me and the judge paused for a second and we went on, all three of us breathing like we were meant to, lol.

  When it was all over we went to the mall.  Seemed like the thing to do at the time!  We happened upon some prints we liked and we bought three, so that was a wedding present to ourselves. I kept them for years, long after our tastes had changed and they were yellowed. Then I put them away and as far as I know they are still in the attic.  Then we drove back to our apartment and had a nap.  At 4 1/2 month pregnant I needed it and as unromantic as it sounds now that was our honeymoon. HAH! The mall and a nap!

  When we got our marriage license in the mail a few weeks later there was a typo on it, one small mistake that I took as a sort of sign. His middle name was misspelled and it was spelled like this…Walte$.   I hoped it meant we would never have to worry about money, because there it was like a gift and I was right. It has never failed that throughout the years we have always had enough.  Not as much money as we would like to have but enough.  Enough money to buy groceries, pay the bills, buy clothes.  Sometimes we struggled and went into debt but hard times just drew us closer as a family.  Our riches it turns out are with each other, not the almighty $dollar$ and after 26 years it’s still enough.

  I almost forgot one of the things Bear remembered from that day. When we drove down to the judges office we had to park across the street and then instead of going back to the corner and crossing the street we jaywalked.  I can’t believe that’s one of the things he remembered, jaywalking!? What an odd man I’m married to!

   

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