November 5, 2007
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Things have been so hectic here that this is the first time I have been able to get anywhere near a computer since Cassie died. I really appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and it warms my heart to know that you all care and took time to come by an express your sympathies to me and Cassie’s family. I will be just as scarce for the next 4 or 5 days so I wanted to take the time now to let you all know how much it meant to me that you thought of us. Xanga has some really amazing people and I’m proud to be your friend. At this rate I will be back in Germany before things settle down and by then I will wondering what the heck happened, that’s how fast everything seems to be moving. Hopefully my honey and I will be able to relax for a couple of days before we go back and he has to start the daily grind again. However, I believe that things happened the way they did for a reason and I believe Cassie wanted me here to be a buffer between her mom and Pete, her husband. (And Kat, Cassie’s daughter who was her mom’s executrix.) Her mom, S. has quite a personality and for some reason takes to me like a duck takes to water, so I was able to provide a voice she would listen to when she wouldn’t listen to them. (Even when I wasn’t agreeing with her, which happened frequently.) I could feel Cassie so strongly that first few days, it gave me strength and it helped me tremendously because I was honestly able to say she’s right here. That’s the first time that’s ever happened to me, it was very odd. I didn’t grieve the way I thought I would because I could feel her energy coursing through me. Over the last few days it has started to slowly pull away but I had her there to help me with the rough parts. I know that sounds crazy, but she really was helping to make sure I did and said the right things to make her memorial what she wanted. When I get home I’ll write more about that.
I will also slowly but surely get up to date and I will come by your sites to personally thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. I believe in prayer and I think all of yours has helped get us through this death. You guys are the best.
Comments (7)
been thinking a lot about you…
I am so so so so very sorry about Cassie. Will be keeping you and her family in my prayers. Love you ~ stay strong.
That doesn’t sound crazy at all; it makes total sense.
And who wouldn’t take to you like a duck to water?
I send to you my condolences for the loss of Cassie , Elizabeth . I am sorry to have missed your two last posts , so important , but I had myself some health issues with My wife Janine ‘ s health and I remained away fom Xanga .
But what you say is true . Xanga is like a great family .
Love
mICHEL
It’s nice to hear from you. I’m glad you’re able to take a few moments to write.
There is no logical explaination for what the energy of a life can do. True friendship, real love, caring, feeling all come together sometimes and the experience is overwhelming. I don’t doubt for a second that you felt Cassie with you, guiding you.
I know it must help you get through these hard times, knowing that you can assist the family this way. After someone leaves, so much has to be tended to, and believe me, the strength of those we love and who love us, those who’s shoulders we can rest our heads upon, are more important than anything. I can only imagine what a huge support you’ve been to Cassie’s folks.
I know she must have been a wonderful woman, because she had you in her life.
Take care of yourself during all of this. I hope you’re getting plenty of good rest.
Bonnie
Much love to you!
You must know by now that we are a very patient and understanding group. You take your time, not to worry. Hopefully you and your dahlin’ will have some re-group time.
It’s so nice that you were able to feel the warmth of Cassie to give you strength. If it’s starting to dissipate, that’s okay, too. I believe she’s on a wonderful journey of her own, and she’ll never be far. To this day, in times of loss, I always feel my Grannie’s hand on my shoulder. Nice. Dieu tu benis.