February 23, 2006

• I think my insurance agent is on drugs.  Now before you say I’m being judgemental let me relate the following.

  Yesterday I got a letter from her that had been sent on Feb 7th. She
  had put the wrong zip code on it so it was no surprise that it took two
  full weeks to get here.  What was surprising was the contents.
  Here is a verbatim quote of the body of the letter…..

  We have received notification from our underwriter at Argenia that you
  will need to sign an updated application.  The application is
  enclosed.  We will need a response to this letter by February 9,
  2006.  If you have any questions, feel free to call me at the
  number listed above.

  Umm, yeah first question:   Are you on drugs?  Second
  question:    In what alternate universe do you live that the
  U.S. Postal service is able to deliver anything from Arkansas to
  Germany and back to Arkansas in 2 days?  Even with a correct Zip
  code?  Because Yo!  We all need to move there.  And
  question three:  What application?  There was no enclosed
  application.

  So I did what any polite person would do, I called my husband laughed
  at her like a loon and then wrote the following Email because its free
  and fast and guaranteed to get there same day.

  We received your letter dated February 7, today, February 22,
  2006.  In
  it you request that we sign an updated application (which was not
  enclosed) and respond by February 9, 2006.  Even if the letter had
  gone to the correct address and contained the application it would
  still take longer than 2 days to get from ?.?.? Arkansas to Illesheim,
  Germany and then back to you again.   I am sorry we can’t
  move as quickly as you require.  Can you please send the
  application to this correct address.  CMR ??? Box ??? APO AE.
  ?????.  It normally takes a first class letter 7 to 10 days to
  reach us from the U.S.   Sorry for any inconveniences this
  may cause.
  (Which is code for, plan ahead you dummy. and why did I apologise, grrr? Oh yeah, to be polite.)

  Okay, this morning there are three Emails back.  2 are nothing
  but attached paper work the third is more paper work with this little
  gem attached:
  Again, all I’m doing is copy and pasting her words with her typing,
  nothing is changed by me except the address to protect privacy.

  PLEASE FILL OUT THE ENCLOSED APPLICATION AND MAIL
  TO P O BOX ?? SOMEWHEREIN, AR ?????.

  I AM ALSO EMAILING THE TERRORISM FORM FOR YOU TO
  SIGN AND MAIL BACK.

   

  IF YOU SHOULD HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PEASE LET ME
  KNOW.

   

  THANK YOU,

  First off, pease quit yelling at me, it’s impolite.
  Second, what you really mean is you can’t be bothered to print out
  megabytes of crap, stick it in an envelope and correctly address it,
  because you screwed up the first time and are now faced with a deadline
  that can’t be met unless I do your work for you.
  Third, Are you on drugs?

  Now I know that I make punctuation, grammar, spelling and other English
  horror mistakes.  But I’m NOT in business for myself.  I’m
  not even in business period.  I do however expect a certain level
  of professionalism from people that I do business with and I will be
  looking for a more competent insurance agent.  Sloppy, sloppy Ms.
  insurance lady.  If you do this what other mistakes are you making
  that could cost me?

  Oh and P.S. Ms. insurance lady.  I can’t print your applications
  out because my printer just ran out of ink and the first opportunity I
  will have to replace my American ink cartridges is when I drive 45
  minutes North to the nearest Army post that carries them.  Also,
  my husband is 2 hours West of here Mon. thru Fri. so even if I could
  print them we can’t both sign them until Friday night, which means the
  absolute earliest these will be mailed back to you is Monday the
  27th.  And yo, my policy had better not cancel because YOU didn’t
  allow proper time for an international client.  If you can’t
  handle us then you shouldn’t have agreed to represent us.

  .

  • 7:15 am
  • 13 Comments