I’m in St. Paul with my Bear.   After an absolutely heart wrenching week it feels good to be somewhat relaxed.  Thank you for the kind E-Mails on my Aunts passing, you’ll never know what they meant to me.  I hope to be able to write without any distractions soon.  Right now I don’t think that’s going to happen.  Maybe later or tomorrow.  I think it’s survivors guilt.  I do have plans today while the guys are at work.  This hotel has a heated pool and hot tub, so I’m off for my very first visit to mall of America to buy a swimsuit.  I don’t know about you but it sounds like a nightmare in the making. 

I’ll get back up to speed sooner or later and things will be better than fine.  Thanks again.

Today is the first day my uncle Ray is without his wife of 54 years.  My Aunt Glenna died last night.  They are bringing her home and she will be buried in our family cemetery.  My mom and Ray, Glenna’s husband, are twins, he’s not in good health and now I worry even more for him and the pain his death would bring to mom.  It’s a cold hard fact that he may not last long without my Aunt.  She was everybody’s mother and took care of you like you were her own.  They have four kids, my parents had four, and maybe because they are twins we grew up closer than cousins, more like sisters and brothers.  Glenna was always a presence in our lives.  Now she’s gone.  I was supposed to fly to St. Paul to meet up with Barry on Fri. it looks like that day will be spent on sadder terms than a husband and wife reunion.  When I do see him you can bet it won’t be with a jaded, 22 year married eye.  It will be with renewed appreciation of how lucky I am.  It will be with a sadness that only time can heal.  It will be with gratitude that I had people like Ray and Glenna to teach me the meaning of a loving marriage.

I think it abundantly apparent that I missed the secret adult meeting.  You know the one where you get to a certain age and “they ” call you into the boardroom and tell you the secrets of adulthood.  I missed the memo, my computer was down, I was on the road.  I demand a copy of the minutes from the meeting.  I overslept, I had a flat tire.  It’s not my fault!!!!!   Damn, can I borrow someone’s notes?  I think I may have went from childhood to my teen years, skipped adulthood and went straight back to childhood.  Because…. I got no answers here people!  There are a couple of nice perks though.  I still get to drive, I have control of the checkbook, I don’t get carded at the liquor store and I still have enough people fooled that they let me vote.  (insert maniacal laugh here)

The old man didn’t call last night.  I stayed up until 11 waiting.  He always calls at 9.  At 9:30 I left the first message, at 11 I left the second.  This morning he called and said he could tell I was upset, gee, I wonder how?  He promised he wouldn’t leave his phone in the hotel room anymore.  Bastard!  You can’t call every single night and then not call.  It’s a rule! 

You are cool! Right on!

I’m not dead, I was in St. Louis!

Imagine my surprise when I realized exactly how long its been since my last post.  It never fails that when I get busy and start doing something interesting I’m nowhere near a computer.  I could use my sisters laptop but I would rather keep my blogs private.  The whole family knew about Cappy coming to visit and they all knew about the xanga journal, but when questions got a little close Allie, Em and I would give general specifics and vague details.  Does it make me odd that I don’t mind both my kids and my new son-in-law knowing all about xanga, but I don’t want my mom, dad or my 3 sisters to know??  Even my hub knows, though he could care less.  I’ve never gotten on a rant about any of them so why should I care?

What have I been doing since June 15….

A lot of it is a blur, just doing the day to day bull that everyone lives with.  Some sticks out.  On the 28th of June Clinton held the 5th annual Archey Fork Festival.  I do the emcee work and introduce the bands, thank sponsers, and give away prizes.  The best part of that is getting to hang out backstage with the sound crew and the bands.

We had a really great fourth of July weekend.  My Aunt in Missouri has a big event that starts Friday and doesn’t end until Sun. or Mon.  There is always about 50 to 75 family there and we eat and play all weekend.  Her son and grandson spend a ton on fireworks so Saturday night the sky was lit for about 45 minutes.  I’m talking the big ones.  The kind that boom across the hills.  The best part of the whole weekend was when Tim and Emily unexpectedly showed up Sat. afternoon.

On Sunday Bear and I went to my sister and bro in laws for a full week.  That is the first vacation my poor hubby has had in so long I can’t remember.  I swear we both gained five pounds we ate so much good food and drank so much beer and wine.  It was so relaxing it was spooky.  I kept waiting for something to blow it all away, but it didn’t, it was just day after perfect day.  Un fortunatly it did have to end and on Friday we came home.  Saturday we got Bear packed up and ready to go on the road and Sunday he flew to Texas.

Now he’s on the travel modifacation crew.  We took this job just to make some money until we go to Germany.  Which still isn’t set in stone but I really feel like it will come through.  In the meantime, his upcoming schedule resemble a bank robber on the lam.  St. Paul, Minnesota.  Somewhere in Wiscosin.  From there over to Bismark N. Dakota, then down to New Orleans, Louisiana, over to Mississippi, up to Tennesse, further up to Kentucky and hopefully by then we will hear about the job in Germany.  The only place I’m not going to go is Bismark.  I’m going to fly home from Wisconsin and stay here until they get to New Orleans.  Then I’ll drive down and follow them from place to place.  It makes me tired just thinking about it.  Two huge bright spots on this craziness!!! one, I get to be with Barry.  and two, the job site in Tennessee is less than ten miles from my high school best friend.  I plan on spending lots of time visiting with her, which suits me right down to the ground.  Allie said we could take her laptop with us and as far as I know all the hotels will have internet service so hopefully I will be able to keep up.  It’s frustrating to be out of the loop.  And like a third grader I have this fear that everyone will forget all about me.  WAH!!!  What I need is a digital camera.  I can’t imagine going to these places and not being able to share what I see.  So that may be my first purchase with one of Bear’s new paychecks.  I should warn him….nah.

Well my faithful few this is all for now.  I’ll try to do better next time.  Have a great weekend and keep your chin up.

edit update again.

if you love cats and you read now and again…you MUST read this sweet book.