Cappy has Arrived!

I got him out of his nice soft traveling bag and he immediatly started hitting on Allie’s best friend bear.  Somehow he talked her into running him a hot bubbble bath.   She wouldn’t scrub his back or join him in the tub, but boy he sure did try.  He’s a smooth talker and I can see already he bears watching. (no pun intended, okay maybe small pun intended.)  He had an awful lot of bubbles in the tub and to tell the truth I’m not completely sure that all of them are from the bubble bath.

 Some I think are from bad diet and alcohol…sigh.   He definetly knows what he wants though.  When I wouldn’t bring him a martini and informed him there isn’t a red light district, Cappy just grinned and said “That’s okay, I can turn any dull place into a sailor’s paradise.”  I also noticed that everytime I tried to leave and give him some privacy he thought of some reason to keep me around.  Finally I told him I had to go and get a few things done and with a gleam in his eye he gave me permission to go.  Sure enough he pulled a fast one…….next thing I know he has “friend bear” being a little too friendly.  How Cappy talked her into a massage and a whole jug of my best wine is beyond me.  Like I said he’s one smooth bear.  He hasn’t even been here 12 hours and he’s already got half the house waiting on him hand and foot.  He told me he lost Goose’s address and needed to get it so he could send her a postcard.  Funny bear, I’m sure he wants to send the postcard…but how convienant that the nearest place that sells postcards is so close to the liquer store.  Always thinking that bear. 

This is all for now, I need to go check on him there’s no telling what that slippery little sucker has been up to while I’ve been posting. 

Any Day Now!

All links are in blue

Cappy should be on his way from Kentucky.  And the lucky little sea bear not only gets to go to an open bar reception, he also will be part of the new Xanga journal. 

     This is going to be great!   I’m not sure how Cappy will take being stuck in a church all day but I figure if nothing else I will bribe him with future enticements of the liquid kind.  I’ll leave his AA meeting attendance up to Goose.  Sorry!  Anyway I figure Allie and I will both take care of Cappy and we’ll take turns writing in the journal.

Thank God I have Allie, she keeps me on the level.  Right now she’s on a xanga break but I figure it won’t be to long and she’ll be back re-energized.  Anyway Allie is in the thick of Cappy’s trip and xanga journal so we are both looking forward to getting them here.  The Ozarks are in full summer glory so it’s a good time to visit.

Welcome to the Ozarks Cappy!

No clear segue:

The first requirements came in for the Germany position.  New passports should have been gotten awhile ago so that might delay acceptance.  However, we start filling out paper work tommorrow and will fax some of Barry’s forms and certificates.  I want this one bad.  In fact, I want this job to come through so badly that I have started fantasizing about my European Xanga friends that I could potentially meet.  The places I could see that I loved so much before, how long it will take for my family to come over for a visit.  All kinds of things.  And of all things…the great washers.  Man nothing get your clothes as clean with the greatest efficeincy as a good European designed washer.  I know, I know it sounds really odd.  But I missed my Spanish washer for years after we came home, but it was just too exspensive to get one here.

eyebrow update:

I have started practicing the makeup-coverups.  You know, brow pencils, eye shadow etc.  I figure if that’s my worst problem then things will be better than fine. 

Woo-hoo!  EIGHT days and it will be a done deal.  I will be an official Mother in Law!   Ack! Run for the hills!

Oh the Horror, the Pain!

All men can leave if they are so inclined. This is aThing!

Uni-brow woman decided it was time to get waxed…before the bridal shower.  So I call my regular waxer.  Now this lady has been waxing my eyebrows for at least ten years.  I can literally just tilt my head back and not worry, plus it only cost $8.00.  So naturally I called her first.  Of course she was booked until hell freezes over, but I’m desperate so I call a new place in town.  I sit down with the ripper and explain in detail exactly what I want.  I even took a pencil and held it up like the little picture above.  The ripper is a very pleasant woman she listen to everything I say, nods once or twice, say she can do that no problem.  The ripping commences and I think man she’s taking forever.  She must just be taking her time, you know being very careful with her new client.  HAH!!  I look in the mirror and surprise!  I don’t mean I was surprised, I mean I have a permanent look of surprise.  They are over-arched, over-plucked, and one is plucked out farther than the other.  The worst part,  she ripped some skin off  my left eyelid and it is sore as hell.  So when I went to the wedding shower I had this nasty ass scab on my eyelid.  Of course it did make it extremely easy to look surprised at every present Emily opened.  A handy chopper…I’m so surprised!!  towels…surprise.  picture frame…surprise.  No that’s not a skin condition on my eyelid….the dog chewed on me while I was asleep.  And get this, with the wedding less than two weeks away there is no possibility of having normal brows.  I think I will pay extra and have them photo-shopped in….. I like these…………………………………..I mean hell, why not.  I can’t have her cheeks or lips or money, so why not steal her eyebrows. 

Well, aren’t I the busy girl…yes I am. Every time I try to blog something else takes precedence.  I guess there are some things that just can’t be put off.  Most of it is small stuff, like making the motel reservations for all the out of town guests, or getting hair appointments for all the bridesmaids and myself.  Small, but important nonetheless.  Then when I do sit down to write I think of some other detail, like who is going to take delivery of the cake at the reception site.  I need someone to keep it guarded since it’s an outdoor reception.  Or, do I have all the music set and ready to play?  Sheesh, will it never end?  YES, it will on June 5th, on that day it will be completely out of my hands, for better or worse. (get it?) 

We’re seriously thinking of applying for a contract in Germany.  We always had the idea that when both kids were adults we would go back to Europe if the opportunity came, well here it is staring us in the face.  Allie is 22 and Em is 20 and getting married, so that kind of says GO!   The Alabama and the Florida contract fell through so both of those locations are not an option.  We could still go to Texas, New Mexico or Arizona.  The difference is in the money.  Germany is a better paying position with better long term options.  Truth to tell I loved living in Spain and when we visited Germany I loved it there as well.  The mindset in Europe is entirely different from America and many times I have wished to be there rather than here.   I guess we will just  have to wait and see. 

 All for now since the bridal shower starts in a couple of hours.  Just thought I better let my concerned readers know I’m not dead.

     Well, my week and weekend did not go as planned.  Our computer got a network virus and within 24 hours it was totally useless.  I was finally able to get it repaired yesterday.  It had 2 sasser virus, 2 agobot and 1 trojan.  We had over 2400 infected files, which Ron, our repair guy, was happy to tell me is the new record for our area.  booyah, I’m just SO proud.  

     In wedding news, the bridesmaids and Tim’s mom are giving Emily and Tim a wedding shower.  We are driving up to Green Forest which is about 2 hours from here.  We have to have a separate shower down here for local friends and family.  It’s just to far to expect everyone to go.  Technically it probably should have already been held but things are insane here and we couldn’t get it together.  I know Allie is supposed to give the shower since she’s the maid of honor, but we have enough to do already.  I wish someone else would take care of that.  Maybe a fairy godmother or something.  Em had her 20 th birthday yesterday.  It being a Monday after a hellacious weekend we didn’t really do anything.  Her sister and another friend are going to take her out next weekend to the comedy club and dinner.  We have a terrific comedy club so I know they’ll have a blast.  Her dad and I figure her wedding should cover our gift giving for at least a year, maybe more.

     One of these days things will get back to running smoothly and then I just won’t know what to do.  One of these days I will get to catch up with my xanga buddies and actually comment again.  Till then I hope you will all forgive me.

I was feeling extremely guilty about how I’ve neglected everything in the house until I saw this picture.

I’m not feeling near as bad now.Even at it’s worst my house hasn’t gotten this messy.  Sometimes a person just needs a little perspective.  I could spend all day cleaning my house and it would be done…in the living room above I could spend all week and probably not get finished.  I mean holy shit, make a path people!  I see lots of toys and baby stuff, is it possible there’s a baby in there we can’t see?    Now I know my house will never be as perfect as this one.  We have never finished the remodeling we started over ten years ago.  (Things have to be done in a certain order)  We have to do things by the paycheck, in other words it may never get done.  So I usually clean and neaten and try not worry about not having window trim or carpet or finished walls.  I figure the roof doesn’t leak so we’re warm and dry in the winter.  We have beds and food  and lots of love in this house.  That’s more important than paint.  However, having said all that… to the people in the first living room…clean the damn house.  To the people in the second living room…. live a little, and send the decorator home.

We have lived here 12 years, Allie was about 10 and Em was around 8.  One of the first people we met when we moved into the neighborhood was Cassie and her family.  She has a daughter the same age as Allie.  I will never forget the day I met her, this string bean, blond twelve year old with the deepest sexiest voice I have ever heard come out of a female mouth. WOW!!!!      Her mom and I have depended on each other for neighbor things for 12 years now.  We take care of each others house when we go out of town.  Drive each others kids around, pick up mail for each other.  All the things that you need someone to trust with, I know I can trust her and she trusts me.   The last month we have bonded even deeper, she asked me if I would drive her to have a mole removed on her leg and three days later we got the word that it is melanoma.  Cancer, the big C.  The very word can make grown men cry and brings out the best and worst in people.   Tomorrow I take her to Little Rock for her pre-op app. and on Wednesday we go for surgery.  Everyone is understandably scared, but Cassie and I both have optimism about the outcome.  We are fighters and whatever it takes I will be there and together with our families we will get through this too. 

For my friend Goose.  I wasn’t going to do this because frankly it’s more than a little embarrassing.  But what the hell.  About a year ago I developed a completely irrational fear of taking a shower when I am home alone.  First I had to lock every single door and window, then lock my bedroom door and then the bathroom door.  The theory being they would have to get through three doors to get to me.  Then it descended into madness…I wanted someone in the bathroom with me.  So because my daughters and my Bear love me beyond reason, for months they humored me and would come into the bathroom and keep me company.  You have no idea the amount of teasing I went through.  But that’s okay.  I am getting better, now I just need someone in the house, they don’t have to actually be in the bathroom.  But I ask you this, where would I have been without my husband and kids around to “humor me”  I’ll tell you… NO WHERE.  Because I’m not going out of the house STINKY!!!!!  So thank God for families that love each other enough to do whatever it takes….and goose remember that there are people out there that support you and understand in many ways what you meant and where you’re coming from.

Main Entry: ¹ir·ra·tio·nal
Pronunciation: i-’ra-sh(&n&l, “i(r)-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin irrationalis, from in- + rationalis rational
: not rational: as a (1) : not endowed with reason or understanding (2) : lacking usual or normal mental clarity or coherence b : not governed by or according to reason <irrational fears> c Greek & Latin prosody (1) of a syllable : having a quantity other than that required by the meter (2) of a foot : containing such a syllable d (1) : being an irrational number <an irrational root of an equation> (2) : having a numerical value that is an irrational number <a length that is irrational>
- ir·ra·tio·nal·i·ty /-”ra-sh&-’na-l&-tE/ noun
- ir·ra·tio·nal·ly /-’ra-sh(&n&-lE/ adverb