January 16, 2004

• I’m a very lucky woman and I need to quit bitching and whining and be more aware of it. 

  
  

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  Everyone has BS that they have to deal with, some worse than others, but I’ve always believed it’s how you deal with it that matters.  Lately I haven’t been dealing very well.  I think it’s been a slow build up of over the last year.  Putting off what seems inconsequential  and then all the little stuff is still there unresolved when something major happens.  This leads to BOOM! It seems like my fuse is always a quarter inch from the all dreaded boom.  I hate it when people try to help with platitudes like “it could be worse” well duh, I know that.  Thank you for helping out so much.  All that does is highlight what I already know and make me feel worse. 

  
  

  I’m completely aware of the blessings in my life. 

  
  

  The encouragement that I recieve here has been more beneficial than the the “help” I’ve gotten offline.  While I may not have met any of you in real life, sometimes you get it so right.  Maybe its that objective distance and the need for clarity in a small space.  Maybe it’s the sympathy or empathy.  Whatever it is, it’s appreciated.

  
  

  My family and by this I mean my two kids and Bear, are my only source of help in the real world.  I cannot depend on anyone else.  Luckily for me they forgive readily.  As in the case yesterday when I was SO BAD, to my Allie.  We went to lunch after her Glucose tolerance test, and the afternoon ended up having a small break, between insurance business.  I’m still nauseuos from the pills, but that won’t kill me and I only have 5 days to go. (i’m grateful for that)  I slept! and that was best of all.  NEVER underestimate the need for sleep.  My rest had been short for three days and I attribute my better mood today to a good nights sleep last night.  (“rest”)  Nothing like a fresh brain to help sort out what to do next. 

  
  

  So this is what I have on tap for today:

  
  

  
  
  1. 
     
     fax police report to insurance comp.
     
     
  2. 
     
     get doctor app to look at dads neck and chest.
     
     
  3. 
     
     confirm test results from Allies glucose tolerance test yesterday
     
     
  4. 
     
     speak with attorney at 4
     
     
  5. 
     
     Meet insurance adjuster at 5
     
     
  6. 
     
     ignore alcholic sister.
     
     
  7. 
     
     call the two unalcholic ones with update.

  
  

  and finally sometime today trade my car for my jeep with dad.  (I would rather drive the car)  Busy again!  Definetly better able to deal with it. 

  • 1:03 pm
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