RESUME
George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT:
*I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost”
and is not available.

MILITARY:
*I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard; I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:
*I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
*I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil
business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn’t find any oil in Texas. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team
in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
*With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
*I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
*During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
city in America.
*I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
governor in American history.
*With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
*I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week.
*I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

*I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

*I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.
*I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

*I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market.
*In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs
and that trend continues every month.
*I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My “poorest millionaire,” Condoleezza
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
*I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President.
*I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor,
and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest
corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party
used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success
with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have
protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or
prosecution More time and money was spent investigating the Monica
Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate rip-offs in history.
*I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
*I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
*I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
President in U.S. history.
*I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government.
*I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history. 
*I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
*I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
*I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. “prisoners of war”
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
*I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
*I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.
*I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.
*I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country
in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
*I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of
mankind.
*I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.
*I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families — in war time.

*In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
*I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.
*I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,” a
WMD.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
*All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
*All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
*All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER ME WHEN VOTING IN 2004

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW

 For the first time in a long time I actually found some ancestors online.  I’ve always known the names of my Great great grandparents on my maternal grandmothers side. (they are buried close to where I live)  But yesterday in an incredibly lucky break I found THREE generations back from them.  That puts that side of the family clear back to 1710.  And it’s not just speculation either.  There are land records and a census. (That bitch was really hard to read)  But get this…(if this doesn’t make you grateful for birth control nothing will) my great-great grandpa was married 3 times, the first marriage produced no children, the second had 4 stillborn and seven living and the third marriage had twelve living children.  That means he had NINETEEN kids that lived into adulthood. (it makes me ill just to think about it)  My great-grandma was the youngest of these 19 kids and a twin.  Gee I wonder what they did when the snow flew, she asks sarcastically?  And it sure does explain why I’m related to everyone in the county.  This is why I told the kids they couldn’t date or marry anyone from Van Buren County.  Man I’m glad I grew up in Arizona…I could have inbred and not even known it…ew.  I just grossed myself out.

Well, the insurance company called yesterday and told me that the people that caused the accident my dad was involved in, won’t return their calls.  It won’t matter though, I already faxed the police report and witness statement to the other insurance company, so whether or not they cooperate it’s in motion.  Tomorrow I’m going to the wrecker yard to retrieve all my odds and ends that are still in the truck.  Also to get my toolbox.  Which is similar to this one pictured.  I have no idea how I’m going to get the thing off, but I know I’m not going to let them have it.  It was purchased separately from the truck and as such I get to keep it.  I found out last summer that you can’t take anything that originally came with a vehicle, or has been put into a vehicle unless you can put something in it’s place.  My mom had put in a really great sound system and after her wreck she wanted to take it and put it in whatever new vehicle she bought.  Because we hadn’t kept the original sound equipment and had nothing to put in her totaled vehicle they wouldn’t let us take her Alpine stereo system.  So in a way I’m lucky because my truck toolbox doesn’t fall under those guidelines.  Bright and early Monday I will start the madness that is insurance business again.  Can you feel my excitement? (mini rant)  BTW, in my opinion, yeah I know everyone has one, insurance of ALL kinds is the biggest racket in the United States.  What other legitimate company charges exorbitant fees every month and the when you actually utilize their resources either ups your premium or cancels you completely regardless of previous history.  And to top it off if you don’t have insurance your in violation of the law.  They get you coming and going and it’s all perfectly legal!  No disclaimer on this one I feel how I feel and it’s my blog right? 

On to the “should have known better” portion of this blog. alternately titled “haha dumbass!”  Last Dec.13th when Allie, Zetta and I went to get the platypus at school we spent 2 days goofing off, teasing, playing games and watching the snow come down.  One of the things my kids are best at is teasing me.  They get as good as they give so it’s by no means one way.  On this particular occasion we were walking down an echoey hall and the kids were giving me a hard time about having to repeat themselves.  Finally Emily says “man she’s old AND deaf”, Allie starts laughing hysterically when I said “what did she say?”  So I knew this one was deserving of something severe.  I pull back and go to punch her on the arm, she sees it coming and jerks back just far enough for my hand to land wrong and instant pain goes shooting up my wrist.  I act all tough and don’t let on that I think I just busted my thumb and we all mosey along.  Fast forward to Jan. 18th 2004.  Every morning I wake up with a swollen thumb, I can’t bend it without pain and I think maybe next time I should use my mouth to get back at the kid instead of my fist.  How do guys horseplay so rough without causing permanent damage?  GEEZ, I’m old AND deaf!

Who am I?   And I don’t mean in the philosophical sense.  I’ve been working on the geanology of my parents on and off for about 5 years.  I always hit a dead end in the same place.  It’s like these people magically sprang into being.  If I can find a place, or date I would be thrilled.  Part of the problem is money, some places charge a fortune to look through records, like ancestry.com or rootsweb.  Some records are incomplete like the Tenessee Census records.  Another problem is most of the Southern states didn’t keep state birth, marriage and death records until the early 1900′s  So unless you know the county and can go there and look in person you are out of luck.  I have an Great aunt that is close to 90, in south Arkansas.  She knows a lot of names and general time periods.  That helps a lot.  When you look for someone it helps to be able to narrow it down to a few years and in one place.  It’s still time consuming and many times frustrating.  and now that I have this all written out it makes me wonder why I chose this time of already frustrating events to pick up on my genealogy again.  Maybe my brain needed a distraction?  I’m in it now though.  And I will most likely keep at it for a few weeks till I just can’t take the disappointment anymore.  If I could just get concrete evidence of one of my ancestors that would make it all worth while.  It’s one thing to hear all the family legend and lore and it’s another to have that name in front of you on a ships manifest or in a census record.  Or in the case of one great grandpa a territorial prison record,  Whoot!  A serious black sheep!  Now if I can just prove it. 

I’m a very lucky woman and I need to quit bitching and whining and be more aware of it. 

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Everyone has BS that they have to deal with, some worse than others, but I’ve always believed it’s how you deal with it that matters.  Lately I haven’t been dealing very well.  I think it’s been a slow build up of over the last year.  Putting off what seems inconsequential  and then all the little stuff is still there unresolved when something major happens.  This leads to BOOM! It seems like my fuse is always a quarter inch from the all dreaded boom.  I hate it when people try to help with platitudes like “it could be worse” well duh, I know that.  Thank you for helping out so much.  All that does is highlight what I already know and make me feel worse. 

I’m completely aware of the blessings in my life. 

The encouragement that I recieve here has been more beneficial than the the “help” I’ve gotten offline.  While I may not have met any of you in real life, sometimes you get it so right.  Maybe its that objective distance and the need for clarity in a small space.  Maybe it’s the sympathy or empathy.  Whatever it is, it’s appreciated.

My family and by this I mean my two kids and Bear, are my only source of help in the real world.  I cannot depend on anyone else.  Luckily for me they forgive readily.  As in the case yesterday when I was SO BAD, to my Allie.  We went to lunch after her Glucose tolerance test, and the afternoon ended up having a small break, between insurance business.  I’m still nauseuos from the pills, but that won’t kill me and I only have 5 days to go. (i’m grateful for that)  I slept! and that was best of all.  NEVER underestimate the need for sleep.  My rest had been short for three days and I attribute my better mood today to a good nights sleep last night.  (“rest”)  Nothing like a fresh brain to help sort out what to do next. 

So this is what I have on tap for today:

1. 
   
   fax police report to insurance comp.
   
   
2. 
   
   get doctor app to look at dads neck and chest.
   
   
3. 
   
   confirm test results from Allies glucose tolerance test yesterday
   
   
4. 
   
   speak with attorney at 4
   
   
5. 
   
   Meet insurance adjuster at 5
   
   
6. 
   
   ignore alcholic sister.
   
   
7. 
   
   call the two unalcholic ones with update.

and finally sometime today trade my car for my jeep with dad.  (I would rather drive the car)  Busy again!  Definetly better able to deal with it. 

Black!

 Do you ever look through all the little emoticons offered and think, I could pick confused, WTF, bitter, angry, bummed, whatevah, stunned ,shocked, surprised, clueless and last but not least  which is censored of course.  Black moods are not a new thing for me but this week is turning out to be a doozy.  I’m on 1000mg of antibiotics, twice a day which I can’t take with food, so I’m nauseous all the time.  I have been on the phone with the police and two different insurance companies trying to get the wreck settled. (did I mention my dad was driving my truck)  Bear has to leave at 3:30 a.m. so I’m losing my only support in all this and to top it all off with whipped cream and cherries, I got in a blow up with Allie when she needed me most. (what a heel)  I’m going to go buy some flowers now and take them to my daughter and apologize.  Any insurance agents or otherwise is just going to have to leave a message or go screw with someone else. 

eye doctors and other things.

Yesterday I had a eye app.  My eyes are crappy,  lately driving at night, road signs are getting a little blurry.  I’ve worn glasses since 7th grade so by now I know when I need a new prescription.  It doesn’t take a genius if you know what I mean.  Anyway, Bear went with me since my eyes would be dilated and I wouldn’t be able to see clearly to drive home.  While I was in the waiting room (waiting, duh!) for the drops to completely dilate my pupils a lady came in and told everyone there was a pretty bad car accident on Hwy 65.  Cops, ambulances everything.  So everyone in the waiting room, including the receptionest, starts discussing how bad and how many accidents are happening on hwy 65.  There are two spots in town that have accidents every couple of weeks and that’s alot for a town that only has a population of just over 2000.  They are always in the same two places and everyone it seems has a solution, but until my moms bad accident last summer nothing was done. (I went to the mayor, the editor of the paper, the chief of police and the district manager of wal-mart and had the left turn lane closed coming out of Wal-Mart.  Now you have to go to the stop light.  That alone cut the accidents in half.)  So we did what everyone does, all of the patients sat in the waiting room and fixed all the traffic problems, easy as pie.  It only took a few minutes and we had  accomplished what the city government hasn’t been able to do for years.  Damn, we’re just that good.  I got my new prescription and Barry and I left.  Now by this time my pupils are so dilated there is barely any iris showing at all.  I look like my eyes are totally black instead of brown and I can’t see because the light hurts my eyes so bad I have to either keep them closed or squint.  No biggy though, Barry and I plan on going home and “napping” for a couple of hours and by then it will have worn off.  Good plan huh!   We get home, I’m heading for the bedroom and Barry says are you going to check the messages. Sure, no prob.  IT’S THE HOSPITOL!  MY DAD WAS IN THE ACCIDENT!  I was freaking out, he is after all 82.  Then they let me talk to him and he sounded great, just irritated that the paramedics made him go to the emergency room.  We rushed up to the hospitol and sure enough he was fine.  They did precautionary x-rays and blood work to make sure his heart wasn’t bruised from the seat belt and then several hours later released him.  I, however had the damn eye dilation thing going on, the entire hospitol is lit up like a stadium night game and by the time we left I not only had the headache from hell, I was nauseuos as well.  My nerves were shot cause dad can really be a pill when he isn’t happy, and I still have to think about all the bullshit I’m going to have to go thru in the next few weeks dealing with the insurance company, bank, etc.  Not to mention dad is without a vehicle and is going to drive me crazy.  The good thing, if there is one, the accident was not his fault.  Apparently he was next to a semi in the inside lane of the hwy, the truck was in the outside lane.  The car that caused the accident made a right turn in front of the semi thinking that no-one was in the inside lane and he could slip over quick enough.  The semi slammed on his brakes barely missing the car.  My dad didn’t have time to stop since it popped out right in front of him with no warning.  Luckily the woman driving the car wasn’t hurt to badly either.  I guess now I have to go pick up the accident report and start the next phase of stress.  Whoopee!   AND Thank God it wasn’t worse.  And how was your day? 

signed, thank the lord I’m not planning a funeral and can I have my boring life back!

Scrabble© Score is: 16

 Happy Birthday

to

 Goose! 

(linked, so go by and say Hi!)

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I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet, I’m just busy, busy.  I spent 10 days going to five different states and as soon as I got home all manner of things popped up for me to deal with.  All of the mundane un-bloggable variety.  The one thing I really wanted to get a picture of is the sign in Austin, Minnesota that says SPAM CITY.  They even have a Spam museum though I had to miss out on that little gem.  Did you know Hawaii eats more Spam than any other state in the union. 

On the way home from our little trip I got a speeding ticket.  The guy was so rude to me that I got furious and told him off.  Barry said he was sure I was going to be arrested, and he’d have to bail me out.  How sweet, I have someone to bail me out of jail.  Anyway, the cop goes back to the squad car, writes the ticket and then apologizes to me for being rude.  So I apologized too.  To me there is no call for rudeness of any kind, I don’t give a shit if your having a bad day.  Don’t take it out on me, I can give as good as it gets.  I did really appreciate the apology and I told him so, so now I have my first ticket since the 1970′s.  I may never live it down.   Oh, I almost forgot, the van ahead of me had no tail-lights and it was dark and foggy.  I guess you make more off a speeding ticket than an invisible death trap.  Onward and upwards eh?  

I did finally get to see “Return of the King” and “Pirates of the Caribbean”  loved them both.  I may have been later than most in seeing them but better than never.  Both will be bought.  I’m a sucker for watching my favorite movies over and over.

Bear got to change to a day shift, it’s almost as screwy as his night shift was.  He works three 12′s and one 6.  Friday thru Monday.   No weekend dates for us in over 8 months.  Sure makes it hard to plan get togethers since all our friends work Mon. thru Fri. like normal people.  But then truth told no-one ever said we were normal.  I’ve heard weird, dorks, crazy, even irritating and annoying but I can’t remember normal.  I blame all the teenagers I know and hang-out with.  Bear is really tired of the job and I expect a new one soon.  It wouldn’t be so bad if he worked a straight 40 but most of the time he works 50 or more hours a week and that’s really hard when you drive an hour and a half just to get there. 

I’ll try and catch up with everyone.  Hope you all had a great new year celebration.

indie  

The spam city above is a link! LOL!